Enter Two Idiots
by Blue-Moon-silver-star
Summary: What happens when two teens who can barely stand each other gets sucked into Eragon? Utter Chaos is bound to happen.
1. Chapter 1

**YES! I know that this Idea is always used! I also must add this too. This story idea is used sooooooooooo many times that it is hard to make it original! I have to add that for my friend Ambrele (Who writes Alex Rider FF) was accused of plagiarism! So please DO NOT tell me that or I will just saw the same thing!**

**Anyway the first chapter is short and rather bad! But please stick with me! Also would any one like to be my Beta? I write a lot of crossovers and Alex Rider stuff. I would ask Amby but she is just as bad as I am! Any way please enjoy!

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Amy sat on her bed late one night slowly re-reading Eragon for the tenth time. Her I-Pod was blaring My Favorite Highway's 'Say so'. There was a large muffled crash coming from her sister's room, which she ignored up until her door banged open and her younger sister, Kim, came barging. In her hands was what looked to be an old brown book?

"What do you want twerp!" Amy asked carefully turning to another page.

"I just wanted to show you the book I found!" She squealed dropping the large book on Amy's black comforter.

"Yah but what is _IT_ about?"

"Oh it's Aunt Gertrude's Book of Shadows." Amy looked up at it and studied the brown book till she finally made out a faded pentagram on the cover.

"So?" Amy asked, and Kim stood and left with a huff. When she heard the door slam shut did she return to the book and music unaware of her sister's soft voice coming from the other room?

"Wish I could go into Eragon, yes just me and," She turned the page, "BRIAN!!!!" She screamed as a green light surrounded her.

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With a groan Amy slowly opened her eyes and looked around. She was in a clearing in a forest at night. This was not good at all. "Who are you?" The voice startled and she fell back with a silent curse.

"Show yourself!" She called slowly standing up. There was a laugh and a tall man with dark brown hair and grey eyes came into the dim light of the moon. "Who are you? Were am I?" She asked at once catching the guy off guard.

"I could be asking you the same thing!" The man's eyes narrowed and so did Amy's. There was groan off to the side along with a grumbled curse.

"What happened?" The two turned and Amy's jaw dropped.

"BRIAN!" Brian looked at her.

"Amy?"

"Ah so those are your names," The man grunted and grabbed there arm and dragged them off into the woods.

"OUCH!" She yelled trying to release her arm from the mans talon like grip.

"Be quite," The man grumbled, holding her hand tighter. Amy huffed and fell silent.

"So were are we again?" Brian asked only to get glared at by 'Emo Boy' as Amy had dubbed him. He to grumbled and fell silent till they came to another clearing with a small fire going.

"Murtagh?" A man asked from the other side of fire. He was probably a year or two younger then Emo Boy with lighter brown hair and eyes.

"Found them in the woods," He shoved them forward. The younger man stood and looked up at them.

"Who are you?" He asked softly.

"My name is Amy, and this oaf of a book destroyer is,"

"Brian," Brian replied cutting her off.

"I'm Eragon and this is Murtagh," Something dawned in her mind.

"Oh crap,"

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EARTH:

Kim ran into her sister's room after hearing her scream a name. "Amy?" No one was there, only a small pile of ash and a glowing ball of emerald light that hung over the bed. "That can't be good," She whispered slowly edging away from the room and shutting the door.

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**HOPE YOU LIKED IT! Also I like reviews! If you give me a review I will give you LOTS of peppermints! Oh and I will update faster!**


	2. Peppermints and a plan

Amy sat down with a huff. "Oh crap crap crap CRAP!" She buried her head in her knees. "Oh GOD! I'm stuck in ERAGON with BRIAN SCARI! Dear lords help me!" she wailed then looked up at the three shocked faces.

"Um, are you okay?" Eragon asked, eyeing her like she was crazy, which she probably was. Amy looked up at Eragon and a jolt ran through her. She jumped up and slammed into Brian knocking him down onto his back.

"You pathetic arse! It's all your FAULT! You and stupid Aunt Gertrude! If you hadn't written your name in my book we wouldn't be in this mess! If Kim hadn't found that book then none of this would have happened!" she screeched at a terrified Brian.

"Who's Gertrude?" he asked her and Amy growled as Murtagh grabbed her, lifting her off Brian like she was a sack of peppermints.

"Let go of me!" Amy screeched, trying to wriggle out of Murtagh's steely grip. He shrugged and dropped her with an oof.

"Okay, what is going on here?" Eragon yelled at them. Brian crawled up and cast evil glares at Amy who was twitching.

"She is probably going through peppermint withdrawal mixed with caffeine. When was your last Mento, Amy?" Brian teased earning a growl from Amy.

"Okay we live in another land," Amy began. "My Aunt Gertrude was a witch. My little sister found her book of shadows and did a spell that sent us here. Oh, and does any one have a Mento? I NEED A MINT!"

"Maybe there's one in your bag," Eragon supplied helpfully.

"What bag?" Amy and Brian asked together. They shot each other evil glares and turned back to Eragon and Murtagh.

"You know the ones on your back," Murtagh said, raising an eyebrow at them. Brian and Amy looked at each and then at their shoulders. Sure enough there was a bag on each of their backs. Amy let the bag fall from her shoulders with a thwack and picked it up. It was her black drawstring bag that she used for gym class. She traced the familiar yellow and white WOOD WARD logo (1). Pulling it open she found her gym clothes that consisted of a pair of black shorts and her light blue 'I am The Stig' shirt. (2) Underneath that was her I-Touch with its solar Charger, her collection of sharpies and lip-gloss, a pouch filled with money, then lastly a large box of Mentos. She squealed and put one in her mouth. Brian had his gym clothes his favorite hat and I-touch.

"Oh thank you!" she squealed, carefully cradling the box.

"Now what?" Brian asked as he went through his bag again.

"There's a town coming up: we stop there and find you a place to stay. Then we live and hopefully never see you again!" Murtagh supplied with a grin.

"NO WAY!" Amy and Brian shrieked together _again_. "There is no way you are leaving us!" They glared at each other.

"Why should we let you stay?" Eragon asked them with a hard gaze.

"Because," Brian retorted. Eragon motioned for him to continue, but he turned to Amy who sighed.

"Because we are on our way to the Varden, you nit wit! That and how is Saphira?" Amy's grin faded as Eragon lunged at her, placing his bone-handled knife at her throat.

"How do you know about her?" he growled at a now ticked off fourteen year old girl.

"Maybe if you put the knife away I would tell you!" Amy grunted. Eragon lifted the knife and stepped back. "I know about Saphira because…" _Come on mind!_ she thought, _come up with something!_ "Well I would tell you but then I'll have to kill you." Eragon growled at her. "EWW! Dude you need a mint!"

"That's not a good enough answer," Murtagh smiled evilly at them.

"Well if you two get to keep secrets then we do too!" she snapped, eyeing both of them, but most of all Murtagh.

"Fine," Eragon sighed. "But if you even look at an empire solider you are gone!" Amy grinned with triumph.

"Whose Saphira?" Brian asked dumbly. Everyone turned and stared at him. The wind picked up, and began to pulse around. A large Saphira landed and snorted at the two newcomers.

"That's Saphira," Amy whispered.

"Oh," was all Brian could mutter.

_Hello, who are you?_ Brian nearly fainted at that (Much to Amy's disappointment when he didn't).

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Earth

Kim rushed into her room and grabbed the large old leather bound book and rushed into her sister's empty room. Opening the book she flipped through it until she came to page with the spell she had said. Quickly reading it, she found a tiny line of text. She leaned forward.

_Warning! The wish spell is powerful; it cannot be undone until the wish is completed. _

"Well that was handy!" Kim grunted and threw the book onto the desk. She then went to stare at the globe of light. Grabbing a baseball glove and an empty two-gallon fish tank she gently pushed the light into the tank and hid it under her sister's desk.

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"Amy?" Brian asked, there was a rather annoyed grunt and Amy rolled over.

"What?" she asked softly so she wouldn't wake their 'companions'.

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know," Amy sighed as she folded her arms under her head and looked up at the stars. "But I think I have an idea." She grinned at this.

"Do tell!" Brian said, catching onto the girl's evil smile.

"Well they don't really seem to like us, except Saphira."

"Keep going…"

"Well I just so happen to have a list of things that says what not to do in Alagaesia. '50 ways to annoy Murtagh, Eragon, Arya, and so forth."

"Ah, I know where you're going with this!" Brian gave a low chuckle.

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.**SO How was it? It's hopefully better! Well for one I got a Beta! (Em Phantom) It is also longer! YAH!**

**Bubblesswimmer- Yah! I'm glad you like it! Also I hope the spelling and such is better!**

**Ambrele- Right back at you dude! You better like! I know were you live! Mwhahahah! (We live down the street!)**

**Any way buy guys! I'm must finish my AR fic! Anyone who reviews gets a Mento!**


	3. Soup!

Earth:

Kim grabbed the book and flipped it open. "Come on, come on," she whispered. "Aha!" she cried happily as she turned to the page of the spell again. "Okay," she said, slowly running her hand down the page and turning it. "Still nothing! Oh!" An idea struck her suddenly.

She sat up suddenly, rushed to her sister's room, and pulled out her unused baseball mit and old fish tank. She slowly, ever so slowly, made her way over to green globe of energy. Then with a squeak she pushed the green orb into the fish tank using the baseball mit. She closed the lid and looked at the green orb of light, then carried it into her room where she shut the door and flipped open the book and began to skim through it.

"AHA!" she squealed when she came upon the desired spell, which read;

_Contact Spell_

_Be able to cantact any person dead or alive no matter were they are._

She read farther and groaned at the vast complicated spell, with it's long list of ingredients. She uttered a tiny curse that she heard from her sister when she stubbed her toe last week. Slowly she left her room and began to look for the ingredients.

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They next morning Amy woke up silently cursing her metal alarm clock for getting her up at 5:45 every stickin day. She groaned and grabbed her army jacket that she had gotten at H and M last week and pulled it over her black longsleeve shirt with a silver dragon going up the side that Kim had given her for her birthday. She tugged on her black tear away converses that she had gotten in London and smoothed out her black skinny jeans. Lastly she grabbed a mento and went to wake up Brian.

She knelt down next to his ear and then. "YOU'RE GONNA MISS THE BUS!" Brian jumped up causing him to collide headlong with Amy who was laughing her head off.

"You should of seen your face!" she giggled, looking over at the still sleeping forms of their victims.

"God you're annoying!" Brian whispered, tugging on his white purple hoody and ran his fingers through his brown red hair.

"I think it's time to wake up the sleeping bueaties over their!" Amy sang as she skipped over to Eragon and Murtagh.

"SOLIDIERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" she screamed causing both Murtagh and Eragon to jump up swords blazing looking around, while saphira lazily opened one eye and stretched. Brian and Amy laughed at there faces looked at each other then stopped.

"There aren't any soldiers are there?" Eragon scowled, slamming his sword into its sheath. Amy just giggled.

_You have got admit you should of seen both of your faces, _Saphira rumbled slowly, which was meant to be her laugh. She then projected the image of their faces in everyone's minds. Amy giggled and carefully stored it away in her mind for another time.

"You are so childish," Murtagh muttered darkly.

"Well we are teanagers!" Brian grinned.

"Just get ready," Murtagh snapped. "Eragon and I are going into a town to get supplies and horses. So just get a meal ready for when we get back." He said pointly looking at Amy when he mentioned the word food, who in turned muttered something about damning all sexist pigs to hell. Murtagh rolled his eyes and tugged off his shirt, an act that nearly made Amy faint, and pull on a ratty old shirt. Eragon followed suit, putting on a red tunic, nearly making Amy faint again. Murtagh then tossed him a little bottle of a black liquid, which he rubbed into his hair, making his brown hair go completely black. Murtagh then tugged on a fake beard dyed black. It was at that point that Amy, after she got over fainting, realized that they were in disguises!

"Eragon!" she called at him.

"Yes?" he asked, raising one of his dyed eyebrows.

"Here, let me do something!" Amy grinned pulling out her liquid eyeliner pen. "No one would recognize you with a tattoo!" She grinned evilly, causing the three teens to shiver.

"Sure," he said slowly as he sat down eyeing the pen carefully. Amy sat next to him and began her work of two tear drops. (At which Brian cracked a grin.) then a slow complicated pattern of lines. When she was finished she sat back, eying her work carefully.

"How does it look?" Eragon asked slowly turning towards Saphira who hummed in approval.

_Very well little one._ She then casted a mental image, at which Eragon couldn't help but grin seeing the pattern of lines all over his face. He nodded in approval.

"I think we should be off!"

"Finaly," Murtagh grunted as he stood and climbed up into the saddle of tornac, followed by Eragon on Snowfire. Amy and Brian watched in silence as there new 'friends' rode off into the sunrise. Amy giggled at that getting a strange look from Brian who stood and went to the edge of the camp.

"Now what?" Brian asked, fingering the hem of his shirt. Amy shrugged and plopped herself on the ground and went through her bag until she found her mirror. She then tugged the lid off her eyeliner and carefully drew a black line, flicking it off her eye to create a cat like finish, she did the other side and swiped on some lip gloss. She then sighed, biting her bottom lip which tasted minty from her lip gloss. Then with a sigh she stood up.

"Saphira where is everything? I'm gonna make a stew." Brian made a chocking sound holding his throat. Amy snorted. "Bastard." Brian grinned and did a little bow, Amy scowled and chucked a nearby rock at him.

_Everything is right here. _Saphira said quickly before a fight happened. Amy nodded and grabbed the pot and bag of food. Filling the pot with water she set it over the fire and began to cut pieces of meat into cubes followed by the few wild carrots and onions. She tossed the ingredients into the pot with salt and herbs and covered it. She looked up and found Brian brooding off at the edge of camp, so Amy sat on the other side and glared at him.

Three hours later Eragon and Murtagh came riding back with two horses in tow. The first was a black mare with a white star on her forehead, the other was a white horse with splotches of red; each horse had a full set of tack with saddle bags. Amy squealed and ran over to the black mare stroking her silky main. The horse nuzzled her and she smiled.

"I see you like them," Murtagh said blandly dismounting Tornac.

"What will you name them?" Eragon asked. Amy and Brian thought carefully, suddenly Amy brightened.

"I'm gonna name you Aradia! After the Italian queen of witches!"

"Suits you," Brian whispered, causing Eragon and Murtagh to chuckle. Amy growled and kicked Brian in the shin, causing him to jump around on one foot, his face contorted in pain. After Brian's little dance he turned to the Stallion.

"I'll name you Pan." The horse nickered, nuzzling his neck, causing him to chuckle.

"So what's for lunch?" Eragon asked suddenly.

"Do you have like ADD or something?" Brian asked raising an eyebrow. Eragon looked confused for a second, then realized he was just insulted glared at him.

"Rabbit stew," Amy said, quickly checking on the stew that was bubbly merrily, then grabbed the two only bowls and ladled the stew into them. "Did you get anymore bowls?" Amy then asked, pursing her lips as she glared at the two teens who had grabbed the bowls and began to wolf down the stew.

"Yah in the saddle," Murtagh said through a mouthful of stew. Brian sighed and grabbed the bowls and laddeld some into his bowl and began to eat.

"Enjoy, I made them special for you!" She said in a sickly sweet voice and then grinned when the three teens spat out the food in horror. "What?" Amy asked with a playful grin. "I put in some honey that you lot had!" She grunted and grabbed a bowl of stew and began to eat slowly.

Eragon sighed and stared at her and the boy and all he could think was what the hell were they thinking?

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Sorry for the long wait! I'm doing Nano Wrimo with my friend (Ambrele) so I've had next to no time to write! I've also been so cuaght up in school! Sorry guys! Any way thanks for all of the reviews!

Ambrele- Thanks dude!

Bubblesswimmer- thanks! I'm glad that this is a good Fan fic! I always get there and thier confuzzled! But now I have a beta! I'm glad you like it!/Yah I'm working on Murty and Erry! They will be a little out of charecter sometimes!

- Me too! I love peppermints! They are EPIC! Book of Shadows is a witches book of spells. It's a true fact!

13-Glad you like it! The list of fifty things was what If found online and borring from authors (With there permission of course!)

lefthand ritehand fish- I'm glad the I'm somewhat originale! and that you like it!

RandomGothicNinjaNerd- sorry about that! Also the NEW Alex Rider book is comming out this MONTH! SQUEEE!!! (Er sorry!)

Arlya- Thanks Thanks thanks etc… I'm glad you like it! The list will come in the next chapter! though there was one in this chapter! But you can't find it!

Anyway I got a good responce on this story so far! All of my stories! I've also written another Eragon fan fic That one I'm proud to say was the first ever Alex Rider Eragon xover! it's on my profile if you want to read it! ANyway I have to go know!

BJ


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